Spontaneous Sunflower

Ugh. I look out the window and we have TONS of snow. This is something that makes me want to cry.

1. I already hate winter.

2. It’s April for gosh sakes!

3. It’s the perfect snow for Christmas Morning a few months late.

4. My birthday is soon and if we have snow that day I’m going to be super-pissed.

5. This makes me have absolutly no motivation to go outside today- the only thing I have to do is go to the bank- so I think I’ll stay in and try to forget what it looks like outside. This could be a challenge because I have tons of school-work to do today on my laptop and my laptop looks directly out the window where I can see Antarctica or something.

'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life
Try to make ends meet
You're a slave to money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places
where all the veins meet yeah,

No change, I can change
I can change, I can change
But I'm here in my mold
I am here in my mold
But I'm a million different people
from one day to the next
I can't change my mold
No, no, no, no, no

Well I never pray
But tonight I'm on my knees yeah
I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now
But the airways are clean and there's nobody singing to me now

No change, I can change
I can change, I can change
But I'm here in my mold
I am here in my mold
And I'm a million different people
from one day to the next
I can't change my mold
No, no, no, no, no
I can't change
I can't change

'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life
Try to make ends meet
Try to find some money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places
where all the things meet yeah

You know I can change, I can change
I can change, I can change
But I'm here in my mold
I am here in my mold
And I'm a million different people
from one day to the next
I can't change my mold
No, no, no, no, no

I can't change my mold
no, no, no, no, no,
I can't change
Can't change my body,
no, no, no

I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
Been down
Ever been down
Ever been down
Ever been down
Ever been down
Have you ever been down?
Have you've ever been down?

----Bittersweet Symphony--- The Verve

i’m having a really hard time dealing with this. i try to not think about it. but then i feel bad for that. i think about it and i get terribly sad and teary. how am i supposed to deal with this? i don’t have any experience with this kind of situation.

I have come to the fact that I have lately been addicted to the Snooze button on my alarm clock. In the past few weeks I have been hitting Snooze for about an hour and day that I can. When I know that I should be getting up.

I just have to remember that the first step is for me to recognze that I have a problem.

Also sad because of my midterm exam grade.

Tuesday night. After work. I’m alone. No one to watch Gilmore Girls with.

Sad. Because I feel like it will be an intense evening. And if you’ve ever watched one of my shows with me before. You understand how intense and crazy I can tend to get. Now I won’t have a chance to share that with. And if I do it while I’m alone, then I feel like even more of a nut.